Category Archives: Programming

Shooting yourself in the foot in various programming languages

I found this at Shooting yourself in the foot in various programming languages. There were a few different one’s posted on this site as well: How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot in Any Programming Language.Here are some of the items that I particularly enjoyed, from languages I actually know:

  • ASP
    You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but the most advanced thing you can manage is to cut your wrist.
  • ASP.NET
    Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.
  • BASIC
    Shoot self in foot with water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
  • C#
    You shoot yourself in the foot, but first have to switch to unsafe mode.
  • CSS
    You shoot your right foot with one hand, then switch hands to shoot your left foot but you realize that the gun has turned into a banana.
  • HTML
    You cut a bullethole in your foot with nothing more than a small penknife, but you realize that to make it look convincing, you need to be using Dreamweaver.
  • Javascript
    You’ve perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.
  • .NET
    You can now shoot yourself in the foot with any of fourteen weapons, ranging from an antique medieval crossbow to a laser-guided Destructo-Beam. However, all these weapons must be manufactured by Microsoft and you must pay Microsoft royalties every time you shoot yourself in the foot.
  • PHP
    You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.
  • SQL
    SELECT @ammo:=bullet
    FROM gun
    WHERE trigger = ‘PULLED’;
    INSERT INTO leg (foot)
    VALUES (@ammo);
  • Visual Basic
    You’ll only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you’ll have so much fun doing it you won’t care.
  • XML
    You can’t actually shoot yourself in the foot; all you can do is describe the gun in painful detail.

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